So what the flip is a blue card then?

Lastest Soccer News from Australia: Well you probably heard about Dwight Yorkie Bar being signed by Sydney Olympic. As part of the A-League rules, each team is allowed to sign one geriatric big-name player from anywhere in the world and pay them more money per week than Graham's and my house put together. Then the rest of the squad are salary capped and get to watch the likes of rude-boy Dwight playing for 20 minutes before tearing a hamstring and limping off to his Mercedes.

Sydney FC Played the whole of New Zealand the other day and won 3-1. That's because there are only 7 people in New Zealand.

And why can't they show any Footy on the normal TV channels here, eh? Not that I need another reason to get Foxtel (Golf Channel) or anything.

My interest in the Ashes faded dramatically sometime after lunch yesterday, what with the latest terrorist news and Glenn McGrath's extraordinary spell of bowling, both of which pissed on my chips.

So, back to football then. Perhaps you are not aware that there is a World Cup happening right now. These have been some of the results:
Argentina 7-3 France
Brazil 2-10 Holland
Scotland 15-0 USA

My favourite match report is this, from England's game with the Ukraine:

"Jo Jo Maybin was sent off by a referee that wasn't even officiating the match - he jumped off the stage on to the pitch squared up to Maybin, showed the blue card and sent him off.

During this appallingly officiated match, not only did the score keepers manage to give a goal that was scored by Gary Whiteside to the Ukraine, the referee also wouldn't stop the match for repairs to the pitch.

In the media box even the Ukrainian journalist said it was 3-3 but the official score after much deliberation was England 2-4 Ukraine."

The stage? A blue card! What madness is this? It is the Homeless World Cup that's what, and I wish it was on TV.