The real Soccer Roo

Will he, won't he? Is he, will he? World Cup Willy? Will he Goleo to the World Cup? One has to feel sorry for Jermain Defoe, who flew off to Germany with the rest of the squad, knowing that he'll be sent home if Rooney gets the all-clear. Thanks for coming, the taxi's outside, go home and watch us on telly.

I got a Jermain Defoe solid plastic statue in my Sainsbury's "Football Heroes" pack. If he does end up being in the team, I will display him on my telly. If not, he's in the bin.