My interest in the Ashes faded dramatically sometime after lunch yesterday, what with the latest terrorist news and Glenn McGrath's extraordinary spell of bowling, both of which pissed on my chips.

So, back to football then. Perhaps you are not aware that there is a World Cup happening right now. These have been some of the results:
Argentina 7-3 France
Brazil 2-10 Holland
Scotland 15-0 USA

My favourite match report is this, from England's game with the Ukraine:

"Jo Jo Maybin was sent off by a referee that wasn't even officiating the match - he jumped off the stage on to the pitch squared up to Maybin, showed the blue card and sent him off.

During this appallingly officiated match, not only did the score keepers manage to give a goal that was scored by Gary Whiteside to the Ukraine, the referee also wouldn't stop the match for repairs to the pitch.

In the media box even the Ukrainian journalist said it was 3-3 but the official score after much deliberation was England 2-4 Ukraine."

The stage? A blue card! What madness is this? It is the Homeless World Cup that's what, and I wish it was on TV.